The Family Gift Exchange

Viewing the family gift exchange as a microcosm of the free-market economy is both an incendiary and instructive exercise.

One's goal as the blacksmith or the butcher is to market one's expertise in a trade as infinitely more valuable than other competing trades. If a man trained in bending iron can convice a fellow man who butchers hogs that smithing is the trade of an artisan rather than a mere blood and gore laborer, he will have a decided advantage when trading with the butcher. In the end it is beneficial to every man to make his particular skill or art seem steeped in sublimity when held next to other trades. Keep in mind that the appearance and not the reality is what is weighty when establishing relative values.

As goods begin to trade hands, the man who can hold up his mastered trade and treat it as immeasurably more worthy will exert little effort while gaining much. Hence, the goal of the enterprising individual is to reap a large harvest with minimal investment.

Leverage is a good gig! However, practicing this amongst family members quickly gets one labelled as a cheapskate!

Certain family members in my wife's family have been rigging the family gift exchange for the last few years to great effect. These swindlers, who give trinkets under the auspices of holiday cheer (and perennially rope us into the gift exchange) must be stopped. In exchange for gawdy garbage and thoughtless momentos, we offer up the bread of our labor ($20 gifts as specified in the gift exchange agreement). The patriarch and matriarch of the extended family have a duty to maintain neutrality as the bonds which keep disparate tectonic plates aligned. However, I declare that I am forever finished with the rest of the lot and their gypsy dealings.